No Singing in the Navy

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School Pictures, Milo Cramer’s last New York show, a solo musical, was wildly inventive, hilarious funny, and extremely insightful about the New York education system, based on his own experiences as a tutor. Unfortunately, his new musical show again premiering at Playwrights Horizons seems to be out of his comfort zone though he has been a fan of musicals for years. No Singing in the Navy is a three-character revue which purports to be a tribute to Golden Age musicals, but its format is a series of very slight skits, à la Saturday Night Live, all with the same three sailors.

It does use the premise from On the Town: three sailors on leave for 24 hours before shipping out to the war, also used in a series of original Hollywood musicals, usually about sailors who become involved in putting on a show in either New York or on the coast. This show claims to have parodies of songs from The Music Man, Peter Pan and The Sound of Music but most theatergoers will not recognize them. A charming idea, but No Singing in the Navy is too thin and simplistic to make us think of those golden age musicals that still get revived on stage and reaired in their film versions.

Three “silly sailors” (think naïve and inexperienced) played by Bailey Lee (Sailor I), Elliot Sagay (Sailor 2) and Ellen Nikbakht (Sailor 3) are given shore leave by their captain (also played by Sailor 3) but warned that there is no singing in the Navy on pain of death. (They do sing throughout, regardless of the penalty.) They attempt to go to the theater but don’t have enough money for all three of them to get in. They go to a casino but lose all their money. Sailor 2 wants to be a writer and heads off to the library.

Sailor 3 wants to kiss one hundred women. On his way, he meets his elderly mother (played by Sailor 1) who has been looking for him to give him his rubber ducky which he had left home. Sailor 1 is heard singing and is shot by the captain who is also guilty for his attraction to sailors and gives up his post to a nameless orderly. Along the way we see the story of the crab bucket and the crab who wants to get out but is held back by his family. Another skit concerns two ants who fall in love. When their leave is up, all that exists of Sailor 2’s novel is that “I love you a lot” which may be taken as the message of the show.

Under Aysan Celik’s direction, the cast is uniformly energetic and animated but none of the skits hit their marks. There is a rack of clothes on stage courtesy of designer Enver Chakartash but the actors hardly ever make use of these items. The wittiest costume change is Sailor’s 2’s transformation into the lonely Lighthouse Lady but this seems out of place for the rest of the show. Krit Robinson’s set is simply a silver glitter curtain and an upright piano, with hardly any other props. Music director Kyle Adam Blair dressed in a tuxedo and bow tie plays the entire score from the upright piano, frowning disapprovingly at some of the antics on stage, though he becomes more amenable when the captain’s hat is placed on his head.

Cramer is also responsible for the lyrics and the music. Although No Singing in the Navy has the feeling of the “let’s put on a show” movies of the 1930s and 40s, it lacks their wonderful songs and big production numbers. The lyrics are often trite and repetitious (“You make me feel funny – Because you’re so funny!/You make me feel smart – because you’re so smart”) without being clever and melodic. They do suggest the lives of silly sailors but unfortunately none of them make up for the lack of showstopping numbers.

The idea of a parody musical about sailors off to war today is certainly timely. However, as a satire of Golden Age musicals like the witty and jazzy On the Town by the incomparable teaming of Comden and Green and Leonard Bernstein, No Singing in the Navy falls short of its promised goal. Even the logo for the show which suggests the colorful wartime musicals from Paramount and 20^th Century Fox offers unfulfilled expectations.

No Singing in the Navy (extended through April 26, 2026)

Playwrights Horizons

Peter Jay Sharp Theater, 416 W. 42^nd Street, in Manhattan

For tickets, http://www.playwrightshorizons.org

Running time: 85 minutes without an intermission