Bernie Kopell, Teresa Ganzel and Lou Cutell
A recording of Sinatra singing “High Hopes” is heard as the curtain rises revealing Charlie Milhouse’s (Lou Cutell) modest Sunnyside, Long Island apartment. A 77 year-old widower, Charlie has his own high hopes on how he would like to celebrate his birthday. So he makes a suggestion to his 76 year-old, long time best friend, war buddy, neighbor, also a widower Moe Crubbs (Bernie Kopell) who arrives with a balloon and a cake. Charlie, however, is armed with a bottle of Viagra that he has purchased on the black market from the local baker. After rejecting the idea of going to a night club where they might get “a little drinkie, a little dancie, maybe a little touchie,” Charlie convinces the reluctant Moe that a pair of call girls is what they really need to spark their intimate little party.
At first they are a little concerned when only one girl shows up. “Hello. I’m Jacqueline Tempest from Pussy Cats for Older Men dot.com,” says the tall blonde and buxom in the doorway. Jacqueline (Teresa Ganzel) quickly convinces them, “I know you were expecting two ladies, but don’t worry. I can handle this session by myself. I’m woman enough for both of you.” There is a reason that Charlie insists that Moe participate, but it doesn’t become relevant until a late twist in the plot.
Let’s say that any high hopes that this comedy would rise, even with the presence of Viagra, to a professional level are dashed by its lamentably unfunny script and by performances that don’t even make an attempt to overcome it. The three totally in-synch performers appear to be time-warping back to the kind of acting that defined such legendary burlesque/vaudeville performers as Smith and Dale, as in their famed and innocently bawdy Dr. Kronkite skits.
Far be it from me to throw the first stone, make that a kidney stone, but that, if it were at all practical or even possible, would be my way of retaliation. Apparently Viagra Falls is a vehicle for its author Cutell, who also plays Charley). It has been making the rounds at various theatrical venues across the nation since its premiere in 2007 at the Indian Wells Theatre in San Bernardino, California. As there is no accounting for taste or tolerance in the wide spectrum of entertainment, we can presume that there is an audience willing and ripe enough to appreciate the shop-worn shtick being doled out by Cutell and co-author Joao Machado.
It’s hard to imagine that this play is the work of two people and a director (Don Crichton) who, collaboratively have come up with something almost defies critical appraisal. This is not to say that the performers are not pros at this kind of retro charade. But even Kopell, who is probably best known for playing the role of Dr. Adam Bricker on the TV series The Love Boat, has a difficult time not getting washed overboard by the waves of unfunny puns (“you have two nipples for a dime?”) and jokes, many of which relate to hemorrhoids, constipation, irritable bowels and the shape of things below the belt line. When all else fails, Cutell adopts a boyish charm and a coy look in order to appear endearing. We’ll give him that.
There is no denying that Ms. Ganzel, who is making her New York stage debut, has the most consistently endearing charms, both of which are bounced around with enviable aplomb. One wonders, however, if the authors had any data that could support Jacqueline’s suddenly inane, hyper aggressive behavior after she mistakenly takes the Viagra pills thinking them to be aspirin. I always heard that women did not respond as men do to Viagra. That and that hard-to-swallow (no pun intended) plot twist also affects a change in her that helps to bring this otherwise limp 90 minute comedy to its bittersweet conclusion, or climax if you insist.
Viagra Falls
Little Shubert Theatre, 422 West 42nd Street
For tickets ($69) call (212) 239 - 6200